A few of my friends have recently split from their partners and after hearing about the things that just weren’t right about their relationships I thought about what makes my relationship work.
Firstly, after coming home and talking about some of the difficulties and oddities of other relationships Matty said something along the lines of ‘we’re so normal. I love you’. I suppose in this context normal means that we don’t have the dreaded drama that some other couples seem to have. We are both pretty respectful of each other. We tend to make decisions together, talk most things over and check with each other before we make plans. We also get that being in a relationship means you don’t have to be attached at the hip and that it’s good to do your own thing sometimes. You can be together without being together. Like right now for example, I’m typing this on the couch and Matty is sitting in front of me playing Need for Speed. Occasionally he makes a comment, or I do, but basically we’re just coexisting in the same space.
Most recently when one of my friends told me that her and her partner had split I told her the traditional “it’s for the best”, but seriously I meant it. If you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t get you, who tries to control you, who you just can’t make it work with, whatever the reason, then you’re better off. In each relationship you’re in you’re going to learn something. Take what you’ve learnt as a positive thing and move on. Your time with them was special but now it’s over. Use what you learnt to built an even better relationship with someone new.
I think that your partner should be your best friend. You’re allowed to fight, but you need to be able to make up too. You need to be able to be 100% you with them, and they need to accept it. No one is perfect, but you both need to love each other for who you are.
Of course I’m just speaking from personal experience. What I’m saying might be a load of bull to someone else.
In a perfect world everyone would be able to pair up with their perfect match, but in the real world sometimes it takes a bit of work. Not everything can be unicorns and puppies and rainbows y’know!